I'm not in control. Seems like a general statement that most of us would agree with. But in reality, we all try to control areas of our life, whether it be how clean our room is, what we look like, or the people around us. As for me, I blame myself when people move on to new stages of life. I blame them "abandoning" me on myself, on some failing of mine.
But I'm learning something.
(Slowly, alibet, and with the help of many people)
I'm learning that I am not powerful enough to be responsibile for other people's actions.
I am not powerful enough to protect them from their choices.
It is not my fault when people in my life choose to step out of God's will or make dumb choices.
I am not responsibile for their actions.
I am responsible for my actions.
I am responsible for puting the blame of other people's choices on my own shoulders.
All the while I have a heavenly Father who shakes his head at me and waits with open arms for me to give up trying to do His job. See, He never intended me to bear the blame of other's mistakes. He created me to hand them over to Him, mistakes and all. He knows that He can do a better job with their problems and that I can't protect them from anything.
He watches me try to deal with the bad choices of the people in my life as I try to protect them and then proceed to crumble from the stress. He watches with tears in His eyes because He knows that even though He could take it from me, that I must learn to give it to Him. My pain hurts him. I have spent years slowly crumbling and dying to the stress of carrying the blame of others choices and trying to protect them from themselves.
It hurts.
It hurts to hold on because I'm falling under the weight.
It hurts to let go because my fingers have been grasping it so long that they're stuck.
But I'm learning.
Slowly, painfully, I'm learning to let go.
It hurts.
But it's OK. I'm His princess and He's holding me. Waiting for me to slowly let go of the people in my life and give them to Him. Comforting me as the pain courses through me. Loving me as I turn back to Him with hands that are increasingly emptier.
It hurts.
But I'm not God.
I can't and will never be able to protect these people in my life. I can try, but I'll fail.
Learning to give things to Him, one day at a time.
Soli Deo Gloria
- Sara Jean
But I'm learning something.
(Slowly, alibet, and with the help of many people)
I'm learning that I am not powerful enough to be responsibile for other people's actions.
I am not powerful enough to protect them from their choices.
It is not my fault when people in my life choose to step out of God's will or make dumb choices.
I am not responsibile for their actions.
I am responsible for my actions.
I am responsible for puting the blame of other people's choices on my own shoulders.
All the while I have a heavenly Father who shakes his head at me and waits with open arms for me to give up trying to do His job. See, He never intended me to bear the blame of other's mistakes. He created me to hand them over to Him, mistakes and all. He knows that He can do a better job with their problems and that I can't protect them from anything.
He watches me try to deal with the bad choices of the people in my life as I try to protect them and then proceed to crumble from the stress. He watches with tears in His eyes because He knows that even though He could take it from me, that I must learn to give it to Him. My pain hurts him. I have spent years slowly crumbling and dying to the stress of carrying the blame of others choices and trying to protect them from themselves.
It hurts.
It hurts to hold on because I'm falling under the weight.
It hurts to let go because my fingers have been grasping it so long that they're stuck.
But I'm learning.
Slowly, painfully, I'm learning to let go.
It hurts.
But it's OK. I'm His princess and He's holding me. Waiting for me to slowly let go of the people in my life and give them to Him. Comforting me as the pain courses through me. Loving me as I turn back to Him with hands that are increasingly emptier.
It hurts.
But I'm not God.
I can't and will never be able to protect these people in my life. I can try, but I'll fail.
Learning to give things to Him, one day at a time.
Soli Deo Gloria
- Sara Jean
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