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Releasing My Dreams to My Savior

Normally it’s easy for me to sit down and start writing something. The thoughts tend to come out easier onto a blank page then they do in spoken language or even in my own head. But this is different. I’ve shared this with people, yet it isn’t any easier to write about because I’m not all the way “through” this part of my life. Many of the people in my life know that I had been in a long distance, fairly long term, relationship. And many of you also know that I haven’t mentioned him in the last 14 months or know that we broke up last year in February. Those of you who know me well, know that I rarely speak of my relationships when I’m in one, much less afterward, but this time it played a major role in what God has been doing to my heart this year. I never wanted a career. Growing up, all I could ever hope and dream of was being a wife and mom. I always figured that since this was what my deepest desire was, that by the time I was 23-24 I’d have a family and a home. Well, I’m ...
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Up Next: Sundance Guest Ranch, Red Feathers Lake, Colorado

So, for those of you who don't already know this, I am leaving Virginia on the 14th of March. If you didn't already know this, it wasn't a personal thing and in no way was I trying to keep people in the dark. Rather, because of my job at DSV (The Discovery School of Virginia for Girls), I didn't want the girls to somehow find out that I had taken a job in Colorado and was leaving them before I told them myself this past week. This last year at DSV has been one of the most challenging, hard, incredible, and wonderful years. If you've had a chance to talk to me or my mom you have probably heard some of the stories of my crazy adventures around living in the woods 24/5 with teenage girls or the insanity that my personal life seemed to be this last year. Leaving the school was one of the hardest decisions I've had to make. I've grown to deeply care for the girls that I work with and cherish the staff relationships that I have. These girls and my staff relation...
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I Believe In A Lie

Everyone has a lie that plays in the back of their head so often that they don't know when they started believing it, or where the lie came from, it's just a recognized fact. My lie is that I am alone in the world.  I don't think anyone ever told me that I was alone in the world, or that it was my job to protect myself from the universe, but it is most definitely how my brain has functioned for as long as I can remember. Wherever I've moved or whoever I'm around, this lie follows me. As I've gotten older I have come to a place in life where I recognize that this is a lie, and some days I can even not believe it. But still, this lie persistently lives in my head. I think I can say with confidence that this is a lie of the enemy that I will fight the rest of my life.  Recently, this lie has been winning more battles than I care to admit. Let me explain. You see, throughout college, God was pushing me and molding me. Part of this molding was le...
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One year ago...

One year ago this weekend I graduated from college. This weekend I sit at the other end of a video chat observing graduation from over 1,000 miles away. I'll be honest and admit that I teared up when they sang the Alma Mater, it caused me to realize just how much I miss these people and how proud I am of my friends. It also caused  me to reflect back on my own graduation one year ago. If you had told me a year ago that I would be living in the woods and would have spent my week covered in mud, living in the rain and moving piles of dirt for out-of-groups, I think I would have laughed in disbelief. If you had told me that I would absolutely love my job, even with the days that bring me to tears in frustration and stress, I would have wondered what you were talking about. You see, a year ago I didn't know what I was doing (not that I really do now). I graduated from college with a foggy idea of what was next and what I wanted to do. I was going to be working as a waitress, ...
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"And They Remembered His Words."

Such a short verse that often gets lost in the Easter story. As we read through the Easter story in Luke, I think that often we skim verses because we know the story so well. We know who went to the tomb first, who saw Jesus first, what their reactions were, and the responses of all the disciples. We know this. But as I read the Easter story in church a few weeks back a verse stood out to me that I know I've just overlooked in the past. I mean, I knew the verse, it wasn't a new verse in any means. But this time I actually stopped and read  the verse. " And they Remembered His Words ." - Luke 24:8 How often to I forget His words? How often do I make it through an entire day and not think of His words? I can't give you a count, but I can tell you that It is way more often then it should be. I can't even begin to count the number of times in church alone that I find myself thinking of the last time I sang a certain hymn and sad memories behind it...
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Holding God at an Arm's Length

The passing of time is a funny thing, isn't it? There are things that feel like they were yesterday but happened years ago, and there are things that feel like they happened forever ago, and they happened in the last year. For instance, I've been in a relationship for just over 9 months now, yet it is hard to remember a time before we were dating. Yet there are words that have been said, things that have been insinuated to me over the years that my brain recalls like they happened to me only moments ago... Sara...                                                                                  ...You're too much woman...                   ...Maybe you should just be quiet...                 ...
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Fibromy-what?

For those of you who didn't already know this, Poiema and I recently made a trip to Mayo clinic. The whole story doesn't start in June though, it started last August when Poiema started getting pain in her hands that had been labeled as Carpal Tunnel. This pain increased and grew into massive headaches that left the doctors clueless as to what was going on. In February her general practitioner told her to go to Mayo Clinic Research Hospital in Minnesota. For her first visit, her sister Shekinah went up with her. On this visit she was ran through the gamut of tests as the doctors tried to figure out what was going on with her. Towards the end of her visit the spinal doctor did a test and told her that he suspected that she had Fibromyalgia. He referred her to the Mayo clinic Fibromyalgia and chronic pain clinic, but because they are really one of the only places in the U.S. that has a specialization in this area, the closest appointment was June 17-19. Poiema and I quickly dec...
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