Jealous

Merriam-Webster defines Jealous as “intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness.” or “Vigilant in guarding a possession” When we think of jealousy, we normally attribute it to a negative emotion, something bad, something to avoid. In Genesis, we see Joseph’s brothers selling him as a slave out of jealousy. In Job 5:2 we’re told, “Surely vexation kills the fool, and jealous slays the simple.” And in Proverbs 6:34 we’re told, “For jealousy makes a man furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge.” Forbes, founder of Forbes magazine, once said, “Jealousy... is a mental cancer.” Classic Sci-fi writer, Robert Heinlein, once said, “A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.” The world today tells us that there is no good side to jealousy, that it is something that must be cured at all costs. And, even when jealousy is said to not be bad, it is said that it will likely destroy at relationship if it exists at all within the relationship. Is it wrong to be jealous though? There are some situations where jealousy becomes bad, but jealousy itself is not a negative thing. G_d is a jealous G_d. In Exodus we are given the 10 commandments, we are told to not make any idols in our lives and “You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your G_d am a jealous G_d, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me,” (20:5). If jealousy really is bad, how can G_d be jealous?

Deuteronomy 6:15 tells us, “for the Lord your G_d in your midst is a jealous G_d—lest the anger of the Lord your G_d be kindled against you, and he destroy you from off the face of the earth.” And Joshua 24:19-20 says, “But Joshua said to the people, “You are not able to serve the Lord, for he is a holy G_d. He is a jealous G_d; he will not forgive your transgressions or your sins. If you forsake the Lord and serve foreign G_ds, then he will turn and do you harm and consume you, after having done you good.”” If jealousy is a bad thing, then G_d is not good. But G_d is good. Jealousy, in all reality, is a very healthy, good, emotion. A husband should be jealous of and for his wife is she is giving too much attention to another man. Likewise, a woman should be jealous of her husband in the same situation. Jealousy is a natural emotion, as the Merriam-Webster definition said, jealousy is “vigilant in guarding a possession.” When there is someone we consider important in our life, it is natural, and healthy (in most cases), to be jealous when that person gives other people more attention than is appropriate. Saint Augustine said, “He that is jealous is not in love.” And Washington Irving once said, “There is never jealousy where there is not strong regard.”

But what does the jealousy of G_d mean in my life? I think that the song lyrics by John Mark McMillian give a good picture of what His jealousy means to me:

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane; I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy. When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, and I realize just how beautiful You are, And how great Your affections are for me.

G_d is jealous because He loves, and without jealousy, there can be no love. If G_d did not love me, He would not be jealous for me. He would not care if I put other things before Him in my life, or that I “didn’t have time” to spend with Him one morning. But, because He does love me, He is jealous for me. He desires so much to spend time with me and for me to draw closer to Him, that he will remove things and people from my life to get my attention. If He has to He will make me feel seemingly miserable until I turn my eyes back to Him. He is jealous for me because He knows that He is the only one that I will be truly satisfied in, that He is the only person who can fulfill all my desires, wants, dreams, and needs. He knows that the only true joy I will ever find in life will be in and through Him. In the Song of Solomon it says “Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord” (8:6)  G_d wants me to set Hm as a seal upon my heart and arm, and He has done the same of me. The Lord, the maker of heaven and earth, loves me dearly. He is so incredibly jealous of me that He died for me. That no matter how inadequate I am that He takes my inadequacies and uses them for His glory and His alone.

So often I feel totally unworthy of His jealous love, I have put so many things before him in my life that have taken priority over Him at some point. The lyrics to the Jars of Clay song, Jealous Kind, often describe where I am:

I built another temple to a stranger, I gave away my heart to the rushing wind. I set my course to run right into danger, Sought the company of fools instead of friends. You know I've been unfaithful, Lovers in lines. While you're turning over tables with the rage of a jealous kind. I chose the gallows to the aisle, Thought that love would never find. Hanging ropes will never keep you, And your love of a jealous kind. Love of a jealous kind. Trying to jump away from rock that keeps on spreading, for solace in the shift of the sinking sand. I'd rather feel the pain all too familiar. Than to be broken by a lover I don't understand. 'Cause I don't understand. One hundred other lovers, more, one hundred other altars. If I should slow my pace and finally subject me to grace, And love that shames the wise, betrays the heart's deceit and lies, And breaks the back of foolish pride.

So often I allow other things to come into my life as lovers (worry, stress, people). Thankfully I have a God who cares for me even when I am distracted by other things in this world. He loves me because I am unique and special; I am created in His image. Because he created me in His image, He is jealous of the ability and passion He has put in my life when I am not using it for His glory. Yes, He is jealous of me and His love is like a hurricane. And just like a small tree, I bend beneath the weight of His wind and mercy. And as I bend, I become acutely aware of how incredibly beautiful He is and how much he adores me. He is jealous, and for that I am grateful.